Breast feeding class

Yesterday was the day Mel went for her breast feeding class at the Wesley (remember ...... the one they wouldn't let me attend!). I was very disappointed to hear that there were no boobies on show ( after all I was assuming that would be the reason that I was not welcome) but not a booby in sight ....... well at least not a real one anyway (they showed a video!) Do they think men haven't seen boobies on video before?!?!? Or is it women feel uneasy about their husbands seeing boobies on video?!?!? No, I think the real reason that men weren't allowed was so that the women (or at least the midwife running the show) could have a lets bash men session ...... at least that was what I was hearing from Mel's description of events. These types of women have to get over the fact that God chose Eve to be the one that would give birth and that Adam didn't have a say in it (so stop trying to make us feel guilty alright! It's not our fault we can't experience the joys of pregnancy first hand). Anyway apart from male bashing (apparently we are only useful for changing nappies and bathing the child) I would have liked to have been there just to witness Mel pretending to breast feed with a doll! I mean she didn't even play with dolls when she was a little girl let alone a serious surgeon type. She tells me she had trouble keeping a straight face. Oh, and I am seriously concerned about the level of skill from the midwives at Wesley when their lactation consultant didn't even know anything about electric breast pumps (maybe that is because that was not the way God intended the milk to come out). Mel found herself answering the questions of some of the other mums to be since through all the research her (useless) husband has done on the subject she was more than able to fill people in on the breast pump market (including the world wide shortage due to the better than expected success of the product in the giant American market and poor planning by the company) I guess these classes are a rite of passage for all new parents. Let's hope the parenting class will be a little more useful.

And on a completely unrelated, but no less funny (if only in retrospect) topic, according to the rumour mill at RBH apparently Melinda and I have split up! Mel had an urgent sounding voice mail message from one of her friends who work at Royale wanting to know if it was true. We do not know where or why this particularly scurrilous rumour has started but let me once and for all clear things up...... Mel and I are definitely not split!!!!!! And besides she has to give me a million dollars if she ever leaves me (verbal pre-nup, should stand up in court). So there you have it. All is well in the Cook camp. I feel like one of those celebrities who are forced to make denials on their websites about similar such rumours. Oh well we can see the funny side now but it was a little hurtful that someone would say such a thing.

Parenting classes start next week. I can't wait (tongue in cheek)