Saturday, July 1

Welcome to our nightmare....


Welcome to my nightmare....
Originally uploaded by b boy.
I must confess to some (perhaps many) misgivings regarding the attendance at the Brisbane baby expo. My significant other (aka the Ben) thought that perhaps it would be a good idea to see if there was anything we were missing out on. We thus handed over $12 and a complimentary ticket to be greeted by a hall full of "...life Jim, but not as we know it..."
First stop - the Australian breast feeding association stand. Now, I am hoping to breast feed (for as long as possible) but am well aware that in this less than utopian world sometimes those things don't work. Or work well enough. Or become infected. Necessitating intravenous antibiotics and hospital admission...etc etc. So do I really want to pay $50 to join an association where I get a how to breast feed book and a warm fuzzy feeling that I belong to some secret clique of womanhood? WHO KNOWS???
I got suckered into the mother and baby stand - thinking that maybe I should try to be a little more open minded and subscribe to a magazine to get in touch with my mothering instinct. Or something. For a small exchange of $28 I had a 12 month subscription, a showbag and a SUCKA sticker to place on my forehead.
GAH
It went downhill from there - too much commercialised plastic crap masquerading as educational toys for children. Too many ways to wrap your child's feet in plaster of paris and then bronze them. Seriously, how long is THAT going to be hanging up on the wall. Too many cheesy photographers spruiking their wares - whilst their wares looked like a couple of bad shots from a Kmart photo lab. I felt faint at the sight of it all - either that or I had postural hypotension and wasn't wearing my compression stockings. I suspect it was a combination of the both.
At least we got to admire a small menangerie of baby animals at the back of the hall - the piglets in particular showed a rather impressive display of intelligence by steering clear of the small plastic cups held by children and trying to jump into the large feed bin instead.
Several comments came to mind as we escaped from the zoo... but none are polite enough to post in this blog. We are smugs after all.

Melinda

7 comments:

Paul In London said...

Where's the photo with you sporting a SUCKA sticker on your forehead???

Anonymous said...

At least the animals were only hawking cuteness.

melinda said...

and that was all natural cuteness too...

Anonymous said...

maybe if it was held at your local country club it would be more to your taste no one allowed in with a wage under $200 000 a year

Paul In London said...

Hmm for a classless society there seems to be a lot of class warfare in this comment thread...

Event sounded like a load of shit really, and I only looked at its dreadful website. Bravo to the Cooks for decluckifying the baby process!

melinda said...

unfortunately I am a rather scientifically minded rather than mystically minded person - the whole pregnancy thing in expo form seems to be a glorified way to exploit a lot of hormonal women, conning them into buying a heap of stuff they don't need and trying to make them conform to some multinationalistic agenda.
As for our anonymous commentator.... since when did the size of one's salary equate to taste?

Dr Ben Cook said...

Yes, Melinda makes an excellent point....usually the more money you have the less taste you seem to show. Oh and by the way I don't think country clubs are really our style anyway. I can't be bothered faking sincerity or feigning interest in young Portia's ponies or Reginald's polo match. I can see why you left the comment as "anonymous"!